 |
| Jean-Charles Chenu, Encyclopedie d’histoire naturelle (1856) |
[Edit 2020-04-26: I cleaned up and expanded on the idea and turned it into a 12 page mini zine available on DriveThruRPG ]
1. Origin of a Species
1. Origin of a Species
The era which is not to be referred to as the Age of Decadence (The reigns of the Nth-Emperors, up to and including to the reign of God-Queen Aelita, having been excised from Imperial annals) brought with it all the wonders and horrors of post-scarcity imagination. The Toads of Holding are one such living artefact of dubitable practicality.
Most likely as a result of a passing biomantic fancy, the migratory sexual drive of the common Arean toad was isolated and turned in on itself. Through this displacement of the species’ libidinal practices, love was forced to find another way – one that could be put to communicative uses. Turned introspective and sedentary, the amorous peregrinates of the toads were resumed as internal longing, the inside of the individual toad slowly expanding and – when reaching sexual maturity – forming spatial pseudopods, entwining and joining with the insides of others of its kind. This, in time, created a species-being pocket dimension of uncertain size dominated by a Sea of Acid, stretching on to a pharyngeal horizon.
Most likely as a result of a passing biomantic fancy, the migratory sexual drive of the common Arean toad was isolated and turned in on itself. Through this displacement of the species’ libidinal practices, love was forced to find another way – one that could be put to communicative uses. Turned introspective and sedentary, the amorous peregrinates of the toads were resumed as internal longing, the inside of the individual toad slowly expanding and – when reaching sexual maturity – forming spatial pseudopods, entwining and joining with the insides of others of its kind. This, in time, created a species-being pocket dimension of uncertain size dominated by a Sea of Acid, stretching on to a pharyngeal horizon.
This inner mating ball enabled the autopoiesis of the species, while also allowing those willing to be swallowed to travel over great distances, maw to maw. For a while worlds grew closer: ideas, dreams and passions circulated through the Ether at an almost unfathomable speed. But as so many other things conceived during those brief, feverish millenia, with Necessity seemingly exiled from the Red planet, the toads were soon put to new uses. Touring art exhibitions were muscled out by regiments of terracottieri, exotic food-stuffs by vehicles of destruction. The Inner Sea of Acid swarmed with the ships of would-be contenders for the throne, and a War of Entrails laid waste to most mature toads, closing down a species spanning network of teethless maws.
Some eggs remained. Now the remnants of the species are scattered around the world and, perhaps, beyond.
Some eggs remained. Now the remnants of the species are scattered around the world and, perhaps, beyond.
2. Magic Item: Eggs of Holding.
The size of an ostrich egg. Translucent, with a dark red yolk. Generally found in clusters of 2d4.
Effect: Eating an egg allows you to stash an item, no wider than your outstretched jaws, in your stomach for 24 hours. If not retrieved during that time, it is lost.
The Eggs are quite valuable to the right buyer: A dynasty, a religious order, an elf. Anyone with the patience to take care of a toad during the generations it takes for it to reach adulthood.
 |
| CC: Mario Massone, see thumbnail for link |
3. Monster: Tadpole of Holding
The size of pikes, perpetually hungry because of ever-expanding stomachs. Copper coloured, sometimes (50%) with legs and (25%) arms.
No. Appearing: 2d4
HD: 1 AC: As leather
HD: 1 AC: As leather
Attacks: 1 Suck attack
Damage: No damage on successful attack, but ST or lose 1 permanent HP for every successive turn until removed. Feel free to use exciting grapple rules.
Movement: Twice human in water, (half the speed of humans on land with legs)
Morale: 4Movement: Twice human in water, (half the speed of humans on land with legs)
Save As: Magic-User
Treasure: The flesh of a tadpole emaciates the consumer. Delicacy and a great way to signal wealth.
4. Monster/Retainer: Juvenile Toad of Holding
Once it grows out of its tadpole form, the toad’s inside expands at a much faster rate than its outside, and soon disconnects from the latter almost entirely. This petite portmonnä dimension forms a discrete space-beyond-space until it reaches adulthood.
This makes the juvenile toad a sought after beast of burden along the canals of the Red planet. Intelligence as a dog and temper as a goat.
If bribed with its food of choice, it holds up to [HDx3] items, and an accomplished toad tender can learn how to massage its stomach to make it vomit back the right object.
The wet, acidic environment of the stomach dimension necessitates the packaging of goods to protect it from being spoiled or corroded.
Likes: Maggots, water, silent reflection.
Dislikes: Snakes, harsh words.
NB: A toad in a toad breaks the world. Dissimilarly to Russian dolls, small toads do not fit neatly into larger ones. It rends reality as per any bag of holding worth its name.
Table: Retrieval Failure
When attempting to retrieve items from an untrained or grumpy toad (hungry, exposed to the cold, too hot, dry, hurt – there will be no doubt when the toad is grumpy), roll a CHA. On a failure:
1 Stomach acid! Save or 1d4 acid damage
2 Nothing emerges
3 Extremely loud croak. Roll for wandering monsters.
4 Wrong item!
5 The sought after item is irretrievably lost
6 The toad starts to hibernate out of spite until its demands for food, moisture, care are met.
And, if you should find yourself at odds with a juvenile toad, a statblock:
No. Appearing: 1
HD: 4 AC: As chain mail
HD: 4 AC: As chain mail
Movement: Twice human in water, as human on land
Attacks: 1 Bite (1d6, ST or lose one HP permanently)
Morale: 7 Save As: Fighter
Treasure: 25% vomits random treasure at death
Alignment: Neutral
Special: Croak. Once per battle, it can make a load croak. Roll on applicable Wandering Monster table.
5. Monster or Dungeon Entrance: Elder Toad of Holding
Size, intelligence and memory as an elephant. Half closed eyes, glazed over and distant. Sighs. Found in canals, caves and the estates of the powerful. Might speak or barter if approached in the right way.
If you cover yourself in appropriate food for an ennui-haunted ancient amphibian, you will be promptly swallowed and transported to the Acid Sea and the Tongue Lands.
No. Appearing: 1
HD: 9 AC: As chain mail
Movement: Twice human in water, half the speed of humans on land
Attacks: 1 Bite: 1d10, ST or lose all HP permanently. If the damage > the character’s HD, it is swallowed into the pocket dimension instead. OR Trample (50% each round). AOE, hits adjacent targets in melee distance, 4d8 damage.
Morale: 10
Save As: Fighter
Treasure: 25% vomits random treasure at death In Lair: 25% chance of egg cluster.
Alignment: Neutral
Special: Croak. Once per battle, it can make a load croak. Deafens all other combatants (ST: If successful 2d4 hours, if failed permanent). Roll on Wandering Monster table.
Special 2: Spew Reinforcements (When HP is halved): Roll on a random encounter table not appropriate for the setting; The toad vomits forth lost travellers or monsters from within. Roll reaction for the newly arrived.6. An Example Encounter: Somewhere Between the Twin Canals of Thoth-Nepenthes
The echoing sounds of stone cutting fill the still air. At the bottom of an enormous marble quarry, an elder toad lounges in the shady interior of a giant covered cart.
The tent is surrounded by scruffy guards dressed in exotic livery. They are tasked with keeping the toad fed, moist and happy. When the toad gets too hot, it takes a swim in the turquoise water of the flooded lower part of the quarry. The guards know that this is not allowed by their employer, and uneasily passes the minutes on the square-cut beach. The toad knows that the swims make its tenders uneasy, which adds to the pleasure.
Meanwhile, chain gangs of goblinesque workers cut up blocks of marble. The blocks are covered with maggots and snails, transported to the cart and promptly swallowed by the toad.
(An aristocrat of ill repute is amassing an army of condottieri inside the toads. The marble blocks are used for repairing the ancient Keep on the Acid Beach where s/he plots against the Throne. The pretender is trying to locate another maw; one hibernating somewhere under the Imperial residence on Phobos.
The chain gangs have been shanghaied from the driftwood labyrinth of Bricolage, an ad hoc settlement created by those marooned inside the toads generations ago. The sun is scorching their almost transparent skin. At least the work is better than being sent to the Toadstone mines.)
